Kirsteen MacKenzie : F*Sad

Posted on by doubledutch

How To : Ensure no one is F* SAD this holiday season

Festive* Seasonal Affective Disorder, like the weather related variety, is a real phenomena that can emotionally overwhelm certain individuals or social groups during what is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year”. Symptoms are varied and each variety requires a unique approach, here are some you may encounter this Christmas-New Year…

 

 

Originally published in the denizen magazine

Eco Warrior

At any time of year one can easily spot an Eco Warrior draped in one too many organic cotton scarves and sporting drop-crotch hemp slacks, the F* SAD varietal however is often a deteriorating book with an under the radar cover. F* SAD Eco Warriors can take months or even years to “crack” and go full Vegan, until that moment you will notice them grow increasingly uncomfortable, concerned and saddened around the holidays. This group is likely to start questioning the origin of your meat, the nature of your wrapping paper, and the intention of your thoughtfully thoughtless commercialism. You must allow these bleeding hearts to influence your holidays in a small but obvious way to prevent a total identity crisis. Try gifting them, or their children, a certificate commemorating the life of an animal you saved (by way of donation) to counteract the entire pig you are about to consume. This year you could even try burying your gifts under a genuine tree, as opposed to wrapping them under a dead one. Afterall, it’s probably wrong to pillage the planet in celebration of Christmas. But if pillage we must, we should at least do it efficiently.

The Exasperated Hospo Worker

Hospitality by name is often inhospitable by nature, even more so during the holiday season. Working through a splendid summers day will give any desk jockey cabin fever, working through a splendid summers day providing the exact services you’d rather be receiving is the catalyst for F* SAD in this industry. For the over-tired, over-worked and generally hung-over hospitality worker, serving people whose one day out socialising a year turns them into a complete moron is literally enough to make them sick. There should also be a legal limit to the number of corporate Christmas parties Exasperated Hospo Workers can be an unwilling party to. No one is built to witness nature’s most vomit prone science experiment weekly for two to three months. If you are noticing a seasonal disdain, downheartedness or disgust in your colleagues, friends or employees, take heed the only antidote is also the forbidden word marriage of this industry; ‘unscheduled’ and ‘time off’.

The Recently Single

Holidays are a time of togetherness, if two become one as the result of a break up F*SAD can swoop in faster than an opportunistic ex. Firstly, keep the recently single and seasonally mal-affected away from their exes, secondly remind them they can consequence-free kiss just about anyone on January 1st at 0:00hr. The best defence against painful memories is a playful imagination…or exorbitant psychiatry fees.

Mothers

No one group is closer to the edge of an F* SAD crisis than mothers, including your mothers mother, and particularly your mother in law. They are not only responsible for the majority of gift buying, wrapping, tree dressing and mouth feeding, their own received gifts are always a well intentioned disappointment. The added obligation of making the in-laws feel welcome in the relaxed and carefree façade of their own personal hell will dial her emotional turmoil to boiling point. Keeping your mother positive and calm is not dissimilar to preparing pasta; to keep the water from boiling over you need to add olive oil. To keep your mother from boiling over you need to add alcohol. Tis’ the season. Alternative remedies to the pressure on Mothers is a robust application of realism, appropriated yuletide glee, and forgiving the ghosts of Christmas past.

Office Martyr

By the time you notice them it’s too late. Your office martyr will be caught turning up late to the annual Christmas party because they’re the only one who puts in any effort around here, and at this rate they’ll have to cancel their flights home for Christmas they’re so busy and no one understands. The Office Martyr is prone to an F*SAD meltdown that will a result in a highly regrettable performance at the open bar. Unfortunately the sole pre-curser to their festive sensitivity as a Secret Santa overachiever is, secret. The Martyr is certain to take the $20 limit as a suggestion, lovingly crafting the most thoughtful present conceivable, only to be upset when they get a generic gift from Typo. You cannot prevent an Office Martyrs emotional melt down and terrible decision making but you can put them in a taxi before they start twerking against the CEO.

Share and Enjoy !

0Shares
0 0 0

1,386 thoughts on “Kirsteen MacKenzie : F*Sad”

  1. 720p says:

    After all, we should remember compellingly reintermediate mission-critical potentialities whereas cross functional scenarios. Phosfluorescently re-engineer distributed processes without standardized supply chains. Quickly initiate efficient initiatives without wireless web services. Interactively underwhelm turnkey initiatives before high-payoff relationships. Holisticly restore superior interfaces before flexible technology. Cordi Herold Ishmul

  5. turkce says:

    I think this is one of the such a lot significant information for me. And i am happy reading your article. But wanna commentary on some normal things, The web site taste is perfect, the articles is in reality great : D. Good task, cheers Marabel Say Nassi

  6. turkce says:

    But inside the same testimony to some Senate committee, he brought up botnets. Lindy Kristoforo Hayes Morna Delmore Pauwles

  7. turkce says:

    Mi accodo a questa domanda. Parli di area privata e di legge sul copyright. Come funziona? Non vorrei creare un prodotto e poi vedere i miei sforzi andare in fumo per della feccia che non ha di meglio da fare. Che poi, io come li posso beccare a distribuire il mio materiale sul web? Mariann Walker Denys

  8. turkce says:

    Did you half and half the flour here? I see both flours in the picture but then it just says regular or WW in the recipe. Apologize if someone already asked, I searched through but might have missed it! Lind Valle Polivy

  9. turkce says:

    I cannot wait to make this. Also as a fellow morning person who is usually ready to move onto lunch by the time my parents are eating breakfast, the idea that you pack your son a breakfast just warms my heart! Lanna Caryl Saunderson

  10. turkce says:

    We loved our Mediterranean cruise a couple of years ago. I doubt if my husband and I will ever get the chance to do it again but at least we have amazing memories. Mead Penrod Mansfield

  11. turkce says:

    Hi there. I discovered your site by the use of Google at the same time as looking for a comparable topic, your website came up. It looks good. I have bookmarked it in my google bookmarks to come back then. Joni Kane Giovanna

  12. turkce says:

    Yet another issue is really that video gaming has become one of the all-time main forms of entertainment for people of nearly every age. Kids have fun with video games, and adults do, too. The particular XBox 360 is among the favorite gaming systems for many who love to have a huge variety of video games available to them, plus who like to learn live with other individuals all over the world. Thank you for sharing your opinions. Tami Leonard Saxen

  13. turkce says:

    This was delicious! I added some cayenne pepper to give it a little punch. Definitely will make again! Teresita Farris Roley

  14. turkce says:

    Very good point which I had quickly initiate efficient initiatives without wireless web services. Interactively underwhelm turnkey initiatives before high-payoff relationships. Holisticly restore superior interfaces before flexible technology. Completely scale extensible relationships through empowered web-readiness. Daryn Dev Bohner

  15. turkce says:

    Sally Fallon weighs in the Caustic Commentary section of the Fall 2017 WAPF Journal: Norine Wilhelm Neilla

  16. turkce says:

    Curabitur sit amet mauris. Morbi in dui quis est pulvinar ullamcorper. Nulla facilisi. Integer lacinia sollicitudin massa. Cras metus. Stella Franny Bradlee

  17. turkce says:

    Having read this I thought it was really enlightening. I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this short article together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and commenting. But so what, it was still worthwhile. Verla Rutger Elmira

  18. turkce says:

    This really opened my eyes. The writing skill alone kept my interest. Thank you for sharing! Angil Skyler Andie

  20. turkce says:

    Terima kasih mas sharingnnya, Insight baru buat saya pribadi. Superr! Carlynn Avrom Lorola

  22. turkce says:

    I really appreciate this post. I have been looking everywhere for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again.. Amie Jerri Burns

  23. turkce says:

    Sed ut perspiciatis unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam, eaque ipsa quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt explicabo. Nemo enim ipsam voluptatem quia voluptas sit aspernatur aut odit aut fugit, sed quia consequuntur magni dolores eos qui ratione voluptatem sequi nesciunt. Genia Chic Fawn

  24. turkce says:

    This is my first time go to see at here and i am in fact impressed to read all at one place. Verine Benedict Tryck

  32. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”

    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  36. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://FcvbnmklpoiuTrewqad6532605.jimdofree.com/
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  40. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://medium.com/@raquelkamila140/the-niche-consultant-ep-08-cc224707b3fd
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  42. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://notepin.co/shared/hhvvjot
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  45. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://telegra.ph/ife-Her-Feminism-01-09
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  48. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://rentry.co/vxscx
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  50. jimdofreeNibly says:

    The road seemed to stretch on endlessly before us, but Alexis assured me that our journey was near an end. We’d turn before long into thick woods and travel through narrow, winding roads until we reached her family’s cabin. I had no choice but to trust her as GPS had given out nearly 20 minutes ago.

    “There’s good wifi and okay reception at the cabin,” she’d told me, “but you can’t get there unless you know the way.”
    https://txt.fyi/-/2153/4afcfbc1/
    So here I was, driving alone in the middle of god knows where with a girl who was my student just a couple of weeks ago. Her and her four best friends had been together from first grade all the way through high school and now they had graduated with very different futures ahead of them. They had decided to kick off “the best summer ever” with a week long stay at Alexis’s family cabin. Alexis and I were heading up before everyone else, the four other girls and four guys.

  53. there asmr says:

    Hi! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this
    post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this.

    I will forward this post to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read.
    Many thanks for sharing!

  57. TAKipçi SATIN AL says:

    TAKipçi SATIN AL
    Organik takipçi satın al işlemi ile instagram sayfalarınızı büyütebilirsiniz.
    Bunun için size sunulan instagram takipçi
    satın al seçeneklerini incelemenizi tavsiye ederiz.
    Seçenekler arasında Türk takipçi veya instagram düşmeyen takipçi satın al imkanı mevcuttur.

    Sayfanızı büyütebilmek için en iyi seçenek TAKipçi SATIN AL işlemidir.

  59. LEKE KREMİ says:

    No matter if some one searches for his required thing, thus he/she desires to be available
    that in detail, so that thing is maintained over here.

  61. ucuz takipçi satın al says:

    I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really
    nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future.
    All the best

  63. Leke KREMi says:

    Leke Kremi Satışında Lider Firma hc.com.tr

    Cilt lekeleri, cilt tonu farklılıkları leke kremi gibi cildinizde oluşan herhangi bir leke için
    Hccare leke kremini deneyebilirsiniz iddalı bir marka olan bu firmanın tüm ürünleri güvenilir olduğu gibi leke kremi de güvenlidir.

    Leke kremi ; https://m2.tc/OZjV

  73. Cheap VPS hosting - Pay with crypto says:

    Qago offers powerful yet affordable VPS servers, Dedicated servers and webhosting. Since our founding in 2020, we supply numerous customers from various countries in Europe and around the world. Our focus is on providing reliable hosting services in Europe.

    Our team has more than 10 years of experience in hosting and can thus respond to the individual needs of our customers. Beside our experience we trust in our in-house development. To obtain the best performance, our host systems are based on the latest technology and only consists enterprise hardware parts. We are monitoring all our services 24/7.